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SCHOOL PHOBIA/SCHOOL AVOIDANCE

In my psychiatric practice I saw a disturbing trend this spring. I had at least a half dozen school-aged patients come for evaluations after being referred by school psychologists. These kids had all missed multiple days of school (as many as 22!). Most were in danger of failing and their parents were frantic. Most of the children wanted to switch schools or get an at-home education.

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Expert: Trust your parental instincts

Dec. 24, 2009 01:49 PM
Special for The Republic

Question: My husband was laid off in late summer. Living on my income alone has been very tight but manageable. How can we continue cutting back and "simplifying" our lives without making our kids feel insecure or that their world is unstable?

Answer: I want to give some practical advice, but underlying everything is that you should trust your parental instincts. They are usually right.

First, the best way to help your child feel secure is to be calm and upbeat. Kids mirror their parents' anxiety. This is easily said, but not so easy to do when a family is facing financial stresses.

The best way to protect against extra stress at holiday time is to say no. Unnecessary activities put strain on your time and wallet and will take away from the peace and rest that you need.

This is an important time to get enough sleep and to take advantage of the school break, spending time as a family. If this means skipping a work holiday party, that's OK.

Secondly, kids thrive on stability and predictability. Start new traditions that focus on togetherness, rather than spending money. These are times that will create memories for your kids and will give them a sense that "we are together, we are going to be all right."

It's also best to keep these changes, such as fewer gifts, year to year so that the expectations for the holidays are manageable and meaningful.

Tanya Feinberg, MD, is a child and adolescent psychiatrist. For information on Feinberg or national resources and Web sites on behavioral health, call 480-252-3606 or go to www.drfeinbergmd.com. Her office is at 7400 E. Pinnacle Peak Road, Suite 206, Scottsdale.